


The List

by CarolPeletier



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25476874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarolPeletier/pseuds/CarolPeletier
Summary: With graduation around the corner, Carol decides she has a lot of living to do, and she wants to do as much as she can with what time she has left with her best friend Daryl.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this way back in 2016. I didn't realize I never posted it here on AO3. It's short and sad. That's all I'll say.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from The Walking Dead. All characters belong to the creators of the comic book and television series.

The List

Chapter 1 – Kites

“You really ain’t gonna let me see it?” Daryl asked as his rickety old pickup truck bounced over a hill on the sleepy country road.

“It’s just something I’m writing,” Carol replied softly as she stretched back in her seat with her bare feet propped up on the dashboard.

“Lemme hear it,” he offered. “C’mon, I’m your best friend.”

“Oh, don’t play the best friend card,” she groaned as her curly brown hair whipped in the wind. She sighed when Daryl slowed the truck to a stop and put it in park. “Daryl?”

“What’s goin’ on with you?” he asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“You been…off lately? Nervous ‘bout graduation?”

“No,” Carol said quietly. “It’s not that. It’s…look, school’s almost over, and we’re going to…well, we aren’t going to see a lot of each other anymore. You’re my best friend, and I’m going to miss you. But I’m…I’m worried about you.”

“Why?” he asked with a frown, furrowing his brows.

“Well, because…” She looked away. “Because…who’s going to take care of you?”

“Pfft. I can take care’a myself. Might have to find myself a woman who knows how to cook though, ‘cause I sure can’t cook for shit.” Carol grinned at that. “Don’t worry. Your cookies are always gonna be my favorite though.”

“Oh, thanks,” she grinned.

“I saw ‘kites.’”

“Huh?”

“On your paper. That why you brought the kite?”

“Uh-huh. It’s a list.”

“What kinda list?”

“A list of things I want to do…you know…before graduation.”

“So…kid stuff?”

“Some kid stuff. Some things I’ve never done. Things I’ve always wanted to do.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “How many firsts we talkin’ ‘bout here?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Dixon. What makes you think I haven’t already done that?”

“Done what?” he teased. Carol rolled her eyes, and Daryl wiped the smirk off of his face. “So…you never flew a kite?”

“Never. Not once,” she insisted with a smirk. “Don’t tell me you and Merle did.”

“Fuck no,” Daryl snorted. “I always wanted to, but Merle called me a sissy, and that was the end of it.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re a sissy.” She looked around at the open field they were parked by, and she smiled. “This place is as good as any, don’t you think?” Daryl nodded and cut the engine. Together, they climbed out of the truck and Daryl helped her haul the butterfly kite out and get the string unraveled.

“Why’s this first on your list?” he wondered, as they clomped through the soft soil of the freshly harvested field. Tufts of sprouts sprinkled the ground here and there from where fresh seed had taken root.

“Because,” she said softly, stopping just ahead of him, “I want to remind myself that it’s ok to have fun, to be silly, to not be so serious all the time.” She smiled a little when Daryl put his hand above his eyes to shield them from the sun.

“Well, what’s next on your list?” Daryl asked, cocking his head to the side.

“You really want to know?”

“Sure I do.”

“Why?”

“Maybe I wanna help you with it. I’m your best friend, after all. Guess it’s kinda my job, right?” Carol smiled a little sadly then. “Since you’re the one goin’ away soon, we best get as much time in ‘til then as we can, right?”

“Right,” Carol said quietly, as tears glittered in her eyes.

“There ya go again. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said softly. “I’ll just miss you.” With that, she put on a smile and nodded toward the kite. “Now help me fly this thing, will you?” She took off running, and Daryl watched after her, not certain what to make of her until she started to laugh. Before long, she had that kite soaring through the air, and at eighteen years old, Daryl Dixon found himself chasing after a kite string with his best friend, the only girl he ever loved in his whole life. His Carol.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Sand Castles

“Fuck, I’m burnt,” Daryl grumbled, slumping down under the big beach umbrella. The lake was beautiful, and the water was cool, but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and it felt like the sun was right on top of them.

“And that’s why you wear sunscreen,” Carol pointed out in a sing-songy voice as she buried her toes in the red Georgia dirt.

“What’re you doin’?” he asked, toweling off his hair as Carol leaned forward and began to shape the warm, moist dirt between her hands.

“Sand castles,” she said plainly.

“This ain’t sand.”

“Well, we’ll pretend,” she said with a shrug. “That’s number two on my list, by the way.”

“Oh, now you’re tellin’ me your secrets, huh?” he asked. She grinned and turned her attention back to her project.

“Help me, hmm?” He sighed and moved over to dig his hands into the dirt.

“Why we doin’ this? To reminds us that life’s messy?” he asked.

“Ooh, I like that,” she teased. “No, I just wanted to do it. That’s all.” She smiled and turned to look at him. “You put your application in at GSU?”

“Yeah,” he murmured.

“And?”

“And they were probably laughin’ at my ass as they typed out the rejection letter.”

“Daryl, I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I’ll help you look into more school.”

“It ain’t a big deal. I got a job all lined up at Axel’s.”

“It is a big deal. Daryl, you’re smart. You are. You just didn’t apply yourself this year.”

“You sound like Mr. Horvath.”

“The guidance counselor?”

“Yeah. He was always on my ass, tellin’ me to put my nose in a book instead of in a motorcycle magazine.”

“Well, Daryl, he had a point. But you _are_ smart.” Daryl grumbled something under his breath, and Carol reached over and pawed at his cheek, getting red mud all over him.

“What the hell?”

“Lighten up. Life’s messy.”

“You been waitin’ on that one.”

“Yep,” she laughed. “Come on, help me.”

“Whaddya want? A mud hut or a mud mansion?”

“A mud castle, of course,” she replied with a faux haughtiness that made Daryl roll his eyes.

“Alright, so what’s next on your list?” Carol sighed heavily and shook her head. “What?”

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

“Not yet. You’ll find out. But you’re gonna have to wait.” She smiled and looked back down at her muddy hands. “Oh no. No, see, you’ve got the moat all wrong.” Daryl scoffed and moved his hands away to let her work, and he couldn’t help but feel a warmth creep up the back of his neck as he thought of how beautiful she looked, even with her hands all covered in mud.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Tattoo

“Ow.”

“I told you.”

“Yeah you did. And…Ow!” Carol frowned as she held the ice pack to her shoulder.

“Would ya just let me already? I ain’t gonna bite ya.”

“Oh, fine,” she grumbled, giving up and handing the ice pack to Daryl as they sat on the tailgate of his pickup. She let out a sharp hiss of pain as he applied the pack to her sore, bandaged shoulder blade.

“What’d you expect, anyway?” He took the ice pack away and gently blew on the affected area. It was a beautiful, elaborate but small tattoo of a Cherokee rose, Carol’s favorite flower. He’d held her hand all through it, and she’d just about crushed every bone in his hand, but it was over now, and she was branded for life.

“I don’t know,” she pouted.

“Damn, this is brusin’,” Daryl murmured. “You sure you’re ok?”

“I’m fine,” she promised.

“You bruise like a peach,” he said with a smirk. She said nothing. “Why’d you want a tattoo?”

“Because. My daddy didn’t want me to have one.”

“Rebel,” he snorted.

“Well, my daddy says girls who get tattoos get the wrong kind of attention, so I guess I wanted to live on the wild side.”

“Your daddy’s a dumbass,” Daryl pointed out.

“Exactly. He wanted me to date that idiot, Ed Peletier,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, you dodged a bullet there.” He put the ice pack down, and Carol turned to face him. “You talked to him?”

“Not since mom kicked him out,” she admitted. “I’ve been busy.”

“Busy with your list?”

“Mmm.”

“You decide what you’re goin’ to study when ya leave in the fall?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not leaving.” Daryl narrowed his eyes at her.

“Whaddya mean ya ain’t leavin’?”

“I talked to mom, and we both think it’s for the best. I’m staying home.”

“Carol…”

“Look, I made up my mind. I’m going to finish school here, and then I’m going to work with her, help her at her portrait studio. She says I have an eye for pictures.”

“What the hell?”

“It’s just not…it’s not gonna happen for me, Daryl.”

“But you graduated at the fuckin’ top of the class. What about them scholarships?” Carol looked away then and sighed.

“Things change. I changed my mind. Would you drop it?”

“No,” he replied.

“Well, you made me drop it when I kept pushing you to go, which I still think you should.”

“You kiddin’ me? My best friend’s stayin’. I sure as hell ain’t leavin’.” Carol sighed and shook her head.

“You’re impossible.”

“Yeah? You’re the one with a fuckin’ bucket list.”

“Don’t call it that,” Carol said quietly.

“I didn’t mean…” Carol looked over toward the neon sign lighting up the window to the tattoo parlor they were still parked behind.

“Come on.”

“Where we goin’?”

“It’s your turn.”

“I already got a tattoo.”

“Yeah,” she replied with a smile. “But you could always use another one.” Daryl eyed her for a moment, but it wasn’t long before he was following her back in, and when he walked out, he had a matching Cherokee rose on his shoulder, a symbol of their friendship, and even deeper a symbol of everything that mattered to him in the world. Her.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Kiss In the Rain

He hadn’t meant to let the car run out of gas. In all honesty, the fuel gage had broken days ago, and he hadn’t realized he was almost out of gas. And Carol could help but laugh as they resorted to walking the rest of the way back to his place on the quiet country roads.

“I can’t believe you,” she snorted.

“Yeah?” he asked. “This from the chick that forgot to put sugar in the pie in freshman Home Ec?”

“Oh God,” she cringed. “I’d forgotten. Thanks.” She laughed and then her eyes brightened. “Oh! Speaking of freshman year…two words. Sadie Hawkins.”

“Fuck,” he groaned. “No. Don’t.”

“Well, Daryl, you have nobody to blame but yourself. Six girls asked you, and you said yes. To all six!”

“I was a dick,” he pointed out. “But Merle told me I best have a backup date in case one of ‘em decided she didn’t wanna be seen in public with me.”

“Merle’s an asshole,” Carol reminded him. Daryl nodded in agreement. “Who did you end up dancing with that night, though?”

“You,” he chuckled. “Your date ditched ya to go smoke a joint in the bathroom, and you were upset. So we danced, and we had fun. Before ya puked all over my shoes.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that Glenn spiked the punch,” she replied with a chuckle.

“I had fun that night though.”

“Me too,” she replied quietly. They walked along together in silence then, a tension in the air that wasn’t there before. Thunder rumbled overhead, and Carol ducked her head and shivered.

“You cold?”

“I’m ok,” she promised.

“You, uh, you talk to your dad?”

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “And _no_ , I didn’t tell him about the tattoo. But things are better.”

“That’s good,” Daryl said quietly. “Better that way, I guess. So, what’s next?” he asked, as Carol tucked her hands into her pockets.

“Hmm?”

“On your list.”

“Oh. It doesn’t matter,” she said quietly, looking up at the sky as the air grew chilly in preparation for the rain.

“C’mon. Let me see.”

“No. No, it’s lame…I…”

“Pullin’ the best friend card here,” he said with a grin. Carol sighed and brought a piece of paper out of her pocket. She folded it down to the next number and passed it over to him. He looked down at it, and then he looked up at her. “Oh.”

“You gonna go find me some hunk to smooch on, then?” she teased.

“Hey, I’m sure plenty of guys would be willin’,” he pointed out. “Why this one?”

“Because it sounds romantic,” she said with a smile. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Try me.”

“It’s just a thing…something primal. Something powerful. I don’t know.” She grabbed her paper away from him and stuffed it in her pocket. The rain began to patter down on the ground, and Daryl stepped in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. “What are you doing?”

“What about me?”

“What about you?”

“Fuck, Carol, I’m a guy. I got lips.” Carol grinned at that.

“You don’t want to kiss me,” she replied. “We’re friends.”

“The hell you know about what I want?” he asked. “You been in my head lately?” Carol’s eyes widened, and she took a step backward. “That surprises you?” She said nothing. “Surprised me too.”

“Daryl…you don’t…”

“What’d I say?” he asked. Carol sighed.

“You shouldn’t.”

“Let me worry ‘bout that, would ya? Why’d you really stay?”

“You want me to tell you I’m staying for you?” she asked, as the tears flooded her eyes. “I wish I could tell you that. That…well, that would be a more romantic reason, but it’s not the truth.” She sniffled then. “Daryl I…I do care about you. I maybe even love you. More than I should. But it doesn’t change anything. We’re friends, and…”

“And you ain’t leavin’.” He saw a sadness in her eyes then, and he hated that he’d put it there. “I wanna kiss you, and I don’t want ya to freak out. I’m bein’ brave here, and it’s only probably gonna last another ten seconds, and then I’ll probably chicken out, so I’m just gonna…” And he was moving toward her then, and she gasped as his hands settled on her waist, and he pressed his lips to hers. And the rain began to pelt down upon the earth, as thunder crashed in the heavens above.

He’d never felt a single thing as amazing as kissing her. Nothing compared, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. And the best part was that she didn’t pull away. She didn’t push him away. She just opened up to him and kissed him back and held on for dear life.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Dance on a Rooftop

A tattered corsage lay at his feet on the shiny tile floor, and a tie hung loosely around his neck. He was bent over, head in his hands as he listened to the sharp _click click click_ of heels and the squeak and shuffle of rubber soles bustling by. Beeping monitors, coughing patients, crying loved ones. It was all too much for him to handle. But he was handling it.

She lay in the hospital bed with her hand curled around his. Her eyes were open, but she looked like she was halfway between here and there. Dark circles colored the pale skin around her eyes, and her lips were dry from dehydration. She looked a sight different than the girl he’d twirled around the roof of the high school just hours ago.

They’d gone together, and she’d let him in on the next item on her list. She wanted to dance on the roof top. And it had been the perfect night. There hadn’t been a cloud in the sky, and the stars had seemed so bright. It had been the best moment of his life, and he’d thought nothing could top kissing her in the rain.

She squeezed his hand, and he looked up, swallowing hard as he leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

“You feelin’ better?”

“Some,” she said with a little smile, as she leaned her head back against the pillow. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Scared me? Carol, you ripped my heart out,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“No. Don’t. I just…I ain’t mad. Just…all this time, you knew, and ya didn’t tell me. If I knew sooner, I…”

“You what?” she asked softly. “Daryl, nothing can change it. Nothing. Not surgery, not medicine. I just…needed to enjoy what time I have left while I have it. And I don’t want you feeling sorry for me. I couldn’t have lived like that.” She blinked back tears. “You weren’t supposed to love me like this.”

“Sorry ‘bout that,” he said quietly, swallowing the lump in his throat. “So?”

“So?”

“Did we scratch one off your list?”

“Yeah,” she said with a smile, as Daryl reached up to stroke a curl out of her face. “We did. Thank you.”

“You gotta give me the list.”

“Daryl…”

“I wanna do this for you. Whatever it is…whatever you need.”

“Please,” she whimpered. “Don’t do this. This is why I didn’t like to go home. I don’t like being there, seeing how my mother looks at me. She looks at me like she’s picturing me in my coffin. I can’t. It’s why I didn’t want you to know. Don’t treat me like…like I’m gonna be dead tomorrow.” She saw the pain in his eyes, and she gave his hand a squeeze. “I love you, Daryl Dixon. And I wish you didn’t love me back, because I know what this is gonna do to you.”

“I don’t care about me. I care about you.”

“And you’re the most important thing in my life,” she whispered. “So you need to know that whatever happens, you deserve everything good in this world.” She brought her hand up to his cheek. “You promise me you will fight and you will get through this, because you might not see it, but you’re good. You’re special. You can do so many things, Daryl, and I want that for you.”

“Stop,” he whispered, leaning in and kissing her as the tears slipped down his cheeks. “Please, stop. Just…just give me the list. Let me see.” Carol lifted a finger toward her purse that was draped over the back of the chair with her prom dress. Her heels sat on the chair cushion, barely scuffed from their brief rooftop dance.

“I just have two things left,” she said softly. “And I don’t expect anything from you. I added that next one…just daydreaming, you know?” Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat as he opened her purse and rifled through it. He pushed past her change purse, the “just in case” packet of condoms she always carried with her since they’d become more than friends, and her compact mirror. The crumpled piece of paper was worn now, but it was still readable.

He unfolded it and sat back in his chair just a little. His eyes met hers and he scanned the list again. He pulled an ink pen from Carol’s purse and checked off the most recent one, and Carol let out a little whimper. His eyes scanned the next one on her list, and he felt his face grow warm as the tears stung his eyes again.

“Daryl, stop. I don’t need…”

“Let’s do it,” he said quietly.

“What?”

“I love you. And you love me. And I wanna help you finish this list. You’re my best friend.” He leaned forward and kissed her softly, and she let out a choked sob when she felt his warm tears spill onto her face. “Let me do this for you. For us. Please.”


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Marry My Best Friend

She’d looked beautiful in her gown, with her brown hair in curls floating around her shoulders like she was an angel sent from Heaven. As she’d walked down the aisle with all their friends and family, with her father holding her arm to give her away like she’d always dreamed of when she was a little girl, Daryl felt in his pit of his stomach that this bright future that most couples had on their wedding day was only to be short lived, but he didn’t care. He had her for now, and he was going to be the best husband he could be.

Her parents had understood her wish to marry him, and they hadn’t fought her on it. Her father had been a little more cautious, but after having a heart to heart and some major emotional healing with Carol over the past couple of months, he’d promised to be there for her no matter what and to help her enjoy the most beautiful day of her life.

When they’d said their vows, she’d grown weary, and Daryl had grabbed her hand and looked right into her eyes, whispering that he was there and he had her, and if she was tired, they could sit. But she wanted to stand on her wedding day, stand there with him. And afterward, he’d carried her out of the church and to their car, and they’d said goodbye to friends and family and driven away.

That night, he’d held her close and stroked her hair and kissed her softly, promising her the world, even if he only had so long to give it to her. They’d shared memories and laughter and tears, and he’d broken down, and she’d broken down, too. And it didn’t matter, because they were each with their best friend, and they knew that breaking down was ok, so long as the pieces got picked up when it was all said and done.

“Are you happy?” he asked, as he checked off _Marry My Best Friend_ from her list and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Yes,” she said with a sleepy smile. “Thank you, Daryl.” She always got so tired these days, always nodded off so easily, but she was fighting it.

“What about this one?” he asked softly, nodding toward the paper and to the last item on her list.

“That one,” she whispered, “I wrote for both of us.” The paper rattled in Daryl’s trembling hands, and his shoulder shook as the realization hit him. Carol gently rested her head upon his shoulder as the tears stung his eyes once again. He blinked them back and took a deep breath, determined to be strong for her. Still, he couldn’t help the sob he choked back as he peered down at the final words scrawled on Carol’s paper.

  1. _Accept that it’s ok to move on. Life is short, and that’s ok. It’s what you do with your time on earth that matters in the end. It’s ok to be scared, but you have to keep going._



Carol kissed his shoulder then, and he curled his fingers with hers, and he held her close.

“It’s gonna be ok,” she promised. “It will be.” He shook his head, and she kissed him again. He pulled her in close, and they lay there together, knowing their time was short, knowing it was coming too fast for either of them. But she was right. They had to accept it. They couldn’t live in the fear of knowing that tomorrow could be their last day together, but they had to accept that it was ok. It was life. Life was messy sometimes. What counted was that they’d made the most of their lives together, and no matter what came next, he could carry this memory with him for the rest of his days on earth.

_The End_


End file.
